Final Day: The Return Home

This is it. I’ve spent 2 weeks here in Tenerife. I lived with a Venezuelan family for the first week and even celebrated my 19th birthday with them. Then after my time with them was up, I stayed in a hostel on the northern coast and spent lots of time learning how to surf.

But despite that, these 2 weeks here have been rather rough. I’ve felt lost and without a purpose. It’s made me feel miserable at times. By being out here on my own, I’ve seen my internal weaknesses and all my shortcomings. However, because of that, I’ve learned a few lessons and a few things about myself. And ultimately, I’ve realized that it is time for me to end my solo travel here.

Yup, I’m going home! I had originally planned to be gone for much longer, but I did not expect to feel such little fulfillment out here. I realize now that I need a purpose. I don’t have one anymore. Turns out aimless wandering is not really my thing.

Plus, I’ve already learned what I needed to learn. I remember the whole reason I started this journey. I remember my first blog post.

“For a long while, l've been very curious to see other cultures in the world. What is daily life like for a citizen in Europe? India? Australia? What if I was born there? Is the world really such a bad place as the the media makes it out to be? News channels seem to paint the world in a such a bad light.”

Did I accomplish that? Yes. I’ve seen what daily life is like for citizens in Europe. Maybe not India or Australia, but that doesn’t matter. The essence is the same everywhere, no matter what country you belong to.

It’s work. I know that now. It’s a necessity. I would not be here right now if it weren’t for people doing the mundane, repetitive, everyday work. Walking across Spain gave me the opportunity to see countless cities and people. And with each city I passed, I saw the construction workers, the pharmacists, the grocery store clerks, the hostel receptionists, the bank tellers, the financial advisors, the bakers, the waiters, the chefs, and countless more professions.

Work is imminent Everywhere. Not just Europe, but the whole world. Everyone shares the responsibility of working. Although the jobs may differ from one another with each country, the essence remains the same.

I’m sure India is quite unlike anything I’ve ever seen, with countless cultural differences, but I already know that people there have to work in order to have food and shelter. I know that there are fathers and mothers trying to raise their kids.

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Another very important thing I learned is that attitude is everything. Whatever is external is not important. You can be in the most beautiful, breathtaking, and wonderful place in the world, but if you are in a poor mood, then it doesn’t even matter.

That has been me several times during my time in the Canary Islands. I went to a black sand beach with a breathtaking view of towering cliffs along the coast. It was absolutely beautiful, but I was in such a bad mood that it didn’t even matter.

What’s important is within. To learn to control your perspective and your attitude is to learn mastery over this life.

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So then, what do I plan to do when I return home? What “purpose” will I find?

This is going to get spiritual.

I’ve been thinking about serving the LDS mission after all.

The truth is, I’ve been thinking back to when I was reading the Book of Mormon and striving to hear the Holy Ghost. It made an astounding difference in my mood, attitude, and perspective on life. It felt like I was finally “awake.” I did things I never would have normally. I learned how to play guitar, went to a boxing gym, volunteered at a parade, and much more.

I almost went on an LDS mission to Mexico, but I simply had too many questions and doubts. I sought out serious anti-LDS doctrine leading up to my departure date so I could be more prepared for the accusations I would hear. But hearing all those different accusations caused me to second-guess my belief, and eventually it crumbled. I could not spread the Gospel when I myself had serious doubts and questions regarding if it was true or not.

So I postponed the mission. I figured the best thing to do was to see the lives of people without the Gospel for myself. A different country, where the LDS church has barely been heard of. So I did. I went to Spain. I WALKED across Spain and met many people from different walks of life. I met Leo from Korea, Hailey from Taiwan, Eddie from Brazil, Alecio from Italy, Kevin from France, Isaro from Spain, and countless others. All of them on the Camino.

It was an adventure for the ages.

But I noticed it was so easy for me to get negative and discouraged at times. It was a struggle to maintain a positive attitude. Now when I compare that to how I felt leading up to the mission, it’s almost completely opposite. When I believed, I felt alive. I felt in touch with my spirit and in control of my thoughts. Believers would call that the Holy Spirit. Non-believers would call it delusion or trickery.

I don’t think it could have been anything but the Spirit. A “delusion” would not explain some of the things I’ve experienced.

A concrete plan isn’t in place yet, but that’s what I think will happen. The Book of Mormon gave me something amazing. I would like to share that with other people. All the accusations against the LDS church don’t phase me anymore. I’ve heard them all.

My solo travels are over, but the adventure is still just beginning.